搞笑英语剧《叶花K西》
《叶花k西》
人物介绍：西门吹雪（ｘ），叶孤城（ｙ），ｋing(k).花满楼（ｈ）
道具：牛奶两袋，匕首一把，戒子一枚，纸屑若干。
第一幕：决战紫荆城之颠
旁白：a quiet villageiscoveredwithwhitesnow .
birdsaredancinginthecold .
amaniswalkingalongthestreet ,stepbystep .
windiscominginsilence.
another mysteriousmanapproaches .
y与x相遇．
x：oh ,iamsorrytoknockyou !
y:haha, nevermindbaybay.
x:excuseme， whoareyouonearth? couldyoutellmeyourname?
y:ha ha ,iwon’tchangemyname! nomatterwhathappens. i’mthemostfamous-------yegucheng. whoareyou?
x:iamximenchuixue.
y惊讶:ar, ximenchui xue?
x:yes,whatiswrong?
y:iheardthatyouarethebestingmartialarts?
x:great, youknowme !
y抱腿：please, please…… don’tkillme! letmeyougo!
x:no, imustkillyou !
y:idon''''''''''''''''twanttobekilled.thereare aeighty-year-oldmotheandathree-yearold sontobelookedafterbyme!
x:noway! becausewearefightingnow!youknow?
y突然站起冷冷的说：don''''''''''''''''t forceme!
x:pardon!
(y拿出一袋牛奶)
x抢过牛奶:milk, verygood! ilikedrinkingit. howdoyouknowthat?
y:pleasedrinkit!
x喝完牛奶:thanks, ha,ha
y:doyoustillwanttokillme?
x:sure, must! milkismilk.
y(恼怒+冷酷):verygood! verygood! ihopeyouwillnotforgetwhatyousaid!?
x:i’msureiwon’t!
y:imustgiveyoualesson!ifidon''''''''''''''''tbeatyourthistime, you’llneverbehaveproperly!3-2-1-0!
x捂着肚子，蹲下：oach,oach !
y大笑：haha……
x可怜状: help! help! whereisthewashroom?
y:what ?
x:toliet?
y:what ?
x:the “wc”?
y:oh,i see ,goalongthisstreetandturnrightwhenyouseeacorssingroad!
x:thanks,byebye.
y掏出纸屑吹:thisisgenuirnesnow!
h:stop!protectingtheenvironmentisabasicobligation!
y:whoareyou?
h:hua---man----lou! haveyouseenximenchuixue?
y:yes, hewasbeatenbymeandisin“wc” now,ha……
h惊讶:nowyouarethebestintheworld!
y:youareright!
h:teriffic!youaretheonemykinglookingfor! doyouwantjoininus?
y:yes,it’sverygood.
h:ok, followme, let’sgotoseemyking!
y:ok,let’s go!
第二幕：无间道
h:mydearest ! letmeintroduce yeguchengtoyou! （指y） thisisyegucheng.
k:sitdownplese, yegucheng.
h走到y前，《婚礼进行曲》起，h神甫状:yegucheng! doyouwanttofollowmykingnomatterwhathappenssuchascold headache,sair and aids?
y: yes,ido.
k: huamanlou, come . puttheringonhisfinger!（音乐停）
x唱着上:onlyyou……(看到戒子) thisringshouldbemine!
k:butwhoareyou? whyshoulditbelongyou?
y急切: king! dearking!imustgonow,mybrotherislookingforme!huoxi(维语再见)
k:huoxi? whatdoesthatmean? itisnotenglish, isn’t it ?
y:how clever……
x冷酷:yegucheng! comehere!iwanttotellyousomething!
y抱x的腿:oldbrother ! forgiveme!
x:forgiveme? why?
y: oncetherewasachangebeforeme,ilostit. ifthegodgivemeantherchance, i’lltellyou“i love you”,iftheremustbea limited period,ihopeitisthousandyear!
x:youshall cheat me!all you did are wrong!how can youtell thelady’s“wc”!
y:ilikegoinglady’s wc .i……i……ithinkthatyoulikewhatilike.(ｙ又拿出一袋牛奶)
x: m-i-l-k?haha, ayixidailu!(我爱你的意思)
k: ayixidailu?what’sthemeaning? whyialsocan’tunderstandyou?
x:youarestupid! itmeans“i love you”.
k:don’t saythat“you love me”. i’llkillyouforyousayingdirtywordtome!
x:what? (侧耳装着听不到) you---kill----me?come, come…(ｘ上去抓住k)
k:fuckyou. imustkillyou!
x:howcanyoukillme? haha……
y:letmehaveatry! 3-2-1-0(x捂着肚子，蹲下)
k: thankyouverymuch, yousaveme. now, i’llgiveyoutheticketforamericantoletyou
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